Why Link should never get Drunk
by meefgal
Summary: Vaati is upset after losing a battle with Link, and finds himself tied to a tree with a certain green hero in front of him... LinkxVaati, yaoi, all that stuffs  don't like? Don't read! IT'S SIMPLE, PEOPLE. Tell me if I should continue this oneshot or not


I… I have a confession to make…

I REDISCOVERED MY CHILDISH ZELDA-OBSESSED SIDE~ *cries pathetically* only this time, I've found out about the magic of Zelda yaoi~ it's actually pretty kewlio~

So here I am writing a yaoi picture inspired by a picture I saw of Vaati tied to a tree and a random censor bar over his ***** area~

ENJOY~

Vaati's POV

Oh, God… this shouldn't have happened! How could I lose to that Link person! He's just a kid! Okay, well, I'm a kid too, but still! I'm a mage and he's… I can't even describe his little power!

I stormed through the forest, kicking angrily at stones or sticks on my way.

How dare he even think he can beat me! This isn't the first time he's defeated me, and I keep retreating with a weird feeling that I'll be guilty when I hurt him… heh! I would never be guilty of harming someone in my way! After all the Picori who'd just made fun of me because I'm an albino… that's not fair, in my opinion!

I heard a twig snap in the distance and I froze, looking around. If it was one of those annoying monsters that I'd let out by accident, I'll scream! A limp green creature stepped through the unusually tall bushes, and I immediately put my guard up. It was Link… and there was something different about him. His cheeks were red, he was grinning at me in a really creepy, yet playful kind of way, and Exlo was gone from his head.

"Hi there~" he hiccupped out, slurring his words and taking another step towards me. I noticed the empty alcohol bottle he was clutching in his hand, and I mentally sighed. Had this 'hero' been drinking? Who's been setting a bad example for the little kid?

"Hi." I replied casually, and took a cautious step forward, ready to cast a spell on him if he did anything. "What's up? Are you drunk or something?" he growled at me.

"What makes you think I could ever-" a hiccup interrupted him. "-get drunk, I mean common!" he raised his bottle over his head and I wondered what kind of drunk he was. Was he happy-go-lucky, or super angry, or depressed? Maybe I could toy around with him and discover what he does when he gets like this, and maybe slip some of his secrets out of him!

"I think you have been drinking," I took another step towards him. "if you hadn't been, you wouldn't be holding a bottle in your hand like that." I pointed at the hand with the bottle clutched in it.

"Whaaat?" he grunted and swung his arm into the air. "yuuuur the drunk one, you-" I didn't hear him finish his sentence after I was stuck over the head with something and it shattered over my head as a shard scraped my cheek and I fell to the ground, unconscious.

OoOoO

Mmm… why do my arms hurt? I blinked my bright red eyes open and squinted through the bright forest lights and saw Link in front of my face, and I blinked curiously. I tried to move away from him, but I couldn't move as I felt something wrapped around my neck, stomach, chest, and ankles. Damn… he tied me to a tree! He still appeared to be drunk though! I couldn't help but blush as his face became much closer to mine, and I felt helpless. I could've easily slipped out of these ropes with magic, but I didn't find the strength as Link giggled at me and poked my cheek.

"What are you doing?" I couldn't help but ask him. He only giggled again.

"I've got a surprise for you~" he smirked, and I felt something in my chest twist up in a pleasurable-kind of feeling. He placed his hand on my thigh and I tried to squirm out of the ropes and I groaned in frustration. What was he doing? I knew that he was drunk, but this was just…

"I want you," his blush grew a darker red, as did mine. "I've always wanted you to be mine, but…" he sniffled. "You never liked me!" he sobbed and clutched handfuls of my cloak in his hands. I felt my face grow red. Who said I didn't like him? He was just an obstacle… wait, wait! He won't trick me into his drunk pleasures!

"I-I…" I couldn't make my words into sentences in time before he suddenly leaned his face into mine and our lips met. My heart skipped several beats. Why is he…! I'm kissing my enemy! How messed up is that! I felt his tongue slide into my mouth sloppily and I moaned, trying again to squirm out of the ropes desperately. His hand traveled up my arm and wrapped his fingers gently around my neck and behind it, rubbing his fingers through my hair. I couldn't help but moan as he rubbed his tongue against mine, and I tried harder to get away.

I mentally facepalmed. Magic! Why don't I use magic to get out? I mentally chanted the spell that allowed me to teleport, but nothing happened. That might be because it wasn't out loud, or because Link was drunk enough to feed me the potion that disabled my magic! Either way, it wasn't a good situation for me. His hand traveled from my hair down to my thighs again and I broke the kiss by turning my head to the side and panting for breath.

"L-Link…!" I glared at him after catching my breath. "How drunk are you!"

"Who said I was drunk?" He smirked at me and I gasped. He wasn't drunk? Then, why? Why did he do this? Why is he… I'm not going to describe what he's doing to me with his hands…

"L-Link, quit it!" I begged him. "This isn't right! Enemies shouldn't be doing things like this!" he pouted in response.

"But… I don't wanna be your enemy!" he whined. "I wanna be your lover!" he kissed me deeply again, shoving his tongue into my mouth again. I wanted to turn my head away and break the kiss again, but his hands were holding onto the sides of my head so I couldn't move. I attempted to loosen the ropes around my ankles to kick him, but he'd tied them so tightly that it hurt to even flex a muscle under those ropes. This is ridiculous!

"FOR DIN'S SAKE, LINK!"

A high-ish squawking voice rang through the forest. I gasped and my face went red as Link pulled away instantly and looked behind him at a very pissed-off Ezlo, who was jumping on the ground angrily and practically steaming.

"What's your problem! You're not supposed to get drunk, you're underage! You're not drunk anymore, but that doesn't mean you can make out with my apprentice, you worm!" he continued to nag Link as he bent own to argue back at Ezlo. I sighed and tried to get out of the rope again. I whispered the incantation for teleportation, and I felt some kind of magic zip through me, but nothing happened. Did I recite a word wrong? What's going on? Link turned back around and glared at me, making me freeze. Had I done something wrong? Would he hurt me? What's he doing!

"I don't wanna untie him, Ezlo!" he complained. "He's too sexy to let go!" I blushed madly at his stupid comment. He must still be a bit drunk. It was just weird for a 12 year-old boy saving the world to call his enemy 'sexy'. It just didn't seem right on any levels.

"You have to!" Ezlo huffed. "He's my apprentice, and I'm sick of no action!" he hopped over to me and began to eat at the ropes around my ankles and I sighed gratefully.

"HEY DON'T DO THAT!" Link shouted and tried to get Ezlo away from the ropes. I got one leg free finally and kicked Link in the head and watched him fall backwards. He was probably unconscious.

"Nice kick!" Ezlo commented as he worked on chewing away the other ropes.

After I was finally free, I grabbed a potion from a pocket in my cape, and drank it. After almost throwing up at the bad flavour, I was able to use my magic again and teleport away from the horrible place, and back to my original destination; Ganon's castle. This evil lord wasn't in his castle recently, so I only imagined he's taken a break from his evilness. I sighed once again and walked through the halls to the room that I's set up for myself to stay in.

"Geez… what a moron…" I insulted Link as I made it into the privacy of my room. "But…" I clenched a fist over the area I predicted my heart would be and blushed. "Why did I feel like that when he kissed me…?"

SOO… that's it~ should I write more, or is this just going to stay as a wacked up oneshot? Who knows?~

PLEASE REVIEW, AND I'LL GIVE YOU DONUTS~

~Meef


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